This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Will I Ever?

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

Earlier today I was speaking to someone about Asma and realized that throughout my blog, I never really posted about the detailed events that were filled with pain, tears and uncertainty. Usually they are about incidents involving Asma that were funny, insightful or simply posts about how I miss her.

I don't think I've ever posted about the times where she would get her wounds taken care of, when she would randomly start bleeding or when she would cry at the top of her lungs out of pain.

I wondered why that was and I guess it is because I don't think I'm quite ready to speak about that - even after over three years. Just the thought of it makes me nervous and my heart starts to beat quite rapidly. It is a quite horrible feeling to have. You don't know what to do exactly. At times it feels like my heart and the rest of my innerself will explode.

Maybe one day I will post about them. It will be when I think I'm ready and able to speak about it without feeling horrible inside. Don't know how soon it will be.

Perhaps I will never speak about them. Allahu Alim.

I don't know...

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah give my parents and the rest of family shiffa and complete sabr. Ameen
May Allah make us better Muslims and take our souls in the state of Islam. Ameen
May Allah give me the strenght and courage to hold up well when speaking about such emotional times. Ameen

WasSalaamualaikum Warahmutallah.


  • At Friday, April 11, 2008 6:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was really toched reading all of your posts masha-Allah. You've been so honest and open. Jazakallahu khayrun for the reminder, may Allah give you goodness fid-duniyah wa'al akhirah. May He replace your loss with gardens of perpetual bliss.Ameen. I have lost a few people in my life including my parents and what I always remind myself is that whoever I lose, I do not want to lose Allah. As long as we obey Him and try our best He will never five up on us. His love for us is immeasurable. Subhanallah!

    Akhi just one nasiha, if I may, do you realise that just as music is haram, horoscopes and star signs are also haram? There is a hadith that if one listens to a fortuneteller or a magician than one's salah is not accepted for 40 days. The Quran and hadith teach us that the only purpose of the stars is to adorn the heavens and to guide the travellers. Please check this out and I would encourage you to remove this from your profile, jazakalahu khayrun and my Allah guide us to the truth. Ameen


  • At Monday, April 14, 2008 7:40:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Allahu Musta'an wa Sabrun Jameel.[surah yusuf]

    I just noticed the new picture. Masha'Allah what a beautiful girl :)

  • At Monday, April 28, 2008 7:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I had wanted to write something .. to somehow make you feel stronger, to somehow cheer you up, but everytime I tried, I would imagine the pain you went and are going through .. and wallah, I was at a loss for words.

    The only thing on my mind is how HUGE this test that you and your family are going through. Subhaanallah.

    May Allah subhaanahu wata'ala reward you for your patience and keep you strong, ameen.


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