This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Friday, August 18, 2006

An Interesting Note

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

The other day my mom mentioned something and it got me thinking. She brought up how Asma was born on Friday at 10:20 AM and passed away on Friday at 10:20 AM.

Seriously, thats really interesting, yet strange.

How often do you see that happening?

Now please, for the record, dont think Im saying there is some meaning or importance by this. Im just sharing this because I thought it was interesting. That is all.

Little did we know that when she was born, she would be with us for 12 years. Little did we know that when she was born, she would face trials and tribulations starting at such a young age. Little did we know those trials would only consume her and would never allow Asma to escape or overcome them.

But Alhamdulillah, whatever happened, happened due to the Will of Allah. Whatever happened, happened for a reason.

Like I have said before, its a blessing in disguise. Im not saying that I dont care or I have lost all the emotions, but that it was for the best and for the reasons we may never understand as it may very well be beyond our scope of thinking.

By the way, a couple people have emailed me or dropped me a comment on here (one which I didnt let it post on here) in regards to publishing a book and am seriously thinking about it. Im looking into it.

To the people who have contacted me about it, please give me your email address or simply email me at

Jazak'Allah for your help.

By the way, make sure you subscribe to this blog by entering your email address in the given field on the right, Insha'Allah.

May Allah reward you all and protect us all from. Ameen
May Allah forgive our sins and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah take our souls from this world as Believers and protect us from the trials of the grave and Akhirah. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

I Will Never Ever Forget

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Wow its been a while since I've last posted here.

I guess one of the reasons is that for this blog, I like to type it when Im absolutely free of worries (well I guess that will never happen) and have time to myself.

Thats why sometimes I dont update it as much. However I should. People have been telling me that they have learned a lot from Asma through my blog. They also have told me that they have noticed a boost in their faith and have become better Muslims, better people. So Insha'Allah, my goal is to post here more often. I have also added the subscription feature so you guys can be notified whenever it is updated. If it doesnt work, let me know Insha'Allah.

My best friend the other night gave me an idea and Im seriously looking into it. I was suggested that I should write a book about Asma and her experiences from my point of view. Basically, take this blog and convert it into a book and plus add more. Im definately interested and thinking about doing that with the help of my best friend.

If anyone have any suggestions, please let me know, Insha'Allah.

Not a day goes by without her on my mind. I think of her every day, every night. I talk about her with my parents, friends and strangers.

Asma had this huge impact on me. She has left this place in my heart that can never be replaced. Never. Even when I have kids, it wont replace Asma.

In fact, one of the reasons why I made this blog was so that when I have kids Insha'Allah, they can read about her and learn what kind of person she was. They can read and learn how she influenced me from eating to taking care of my health to praying.

Subhana'Allah she was a person whom I will never ever forget.

I would love to have a daughter like Asma. In fact, I will name my daughter Asma if I Allah blesses me with a daughter. Asma was a girl who never wished harm upon anyone. She was a person who never spoke ill of anyone. She was a girl who always wanted the best for everyone. She was a girl who tried to mend relationships especially between family members.

During my summer vacation, I have been doing a lot of cleaning around the house. My basement was pretty dirty in a sense that it was packed with belongings that accumulated over the years especially when Asma was ill.

Everything we would get from the hospital, we would put it in the basement. All the presents Asma would get from people, we would put it in the basement. In fact, there is so much stuff, that the basement became full and as a result we put much of the stuff in the garage and cabinets in the family room. Even now, we barely have any room for more.

Anyways, as Im going through stuff hidden under old boxes and some random junk, I see Asma's belongings such as her scarves, clothes, games, paintings, school work, wheelchair, portable toilet, crutches, walker and her medicine which is still in the fridge. No one wants to get rid of her stuff.

I still have her breathing tube that she had under her nose during her last days.

As Im working and cleaning the place up, I come across her things and just stop. I stop. I cant go on without thinking about it.

I try to shake it off and try not to think about it much and continue to do my work, but I fail to do that.

I stop and just look at her stuff and try to think of her smile, her giggle, her sweet scent, her beautiful, soft hands. I try to think of the times we had together. I get sad. My heart beats faster. I sometimes cant believe shes really gone.

When there are times when people think Im nuts or dont care to listen, I wish Asma was here to listen to me and talk to me.

She would never ever wish harm upon me or call me names. She would smile and laugh to cheer me up. She would be serious and listen carefully to what I have to say and advise me accordingly.

God I loved her. I still do. Nothing has changed. She was the Princess of the house. She was the little baby. lol She liked to be treated as one too...the special little baby.

She soon gave up on everyone when she realized nobody but her immediate family would ever be there for her. It was true. She hoped for people to come see her and talk to her. But as days went by and the time for her to go came nearer, it was pretty obvious. So then she just realized that her family loves her so much and will be there for her.

I remember one of the last things she ate was cheese ravioli. She actually made me go to the store and get some. I brought it home and cooked it for her. She loved it. She told me it was good. But because her body was shutting off, she didnt eat much. She used to tell me I make the best sandiwches. LOL

I will once in a while go in her room and go through her clothes. They are still hanging in the closet. I her prosthetic leg is still in the closet. I have her stuff animals and her blanket. I sometimes I keep her blanket with me. Its my sock drawer actually and whenever I miss her, I stuff her blanket in my face and try to smell her scent.

Its harder and harder when I look at her stuff. I miss her more and more.

I go through pictures, but cant really see them after a few seconds. I feel so sick. I feel like crying. I feel like my heart would shut off or something.

She was a cute baby. I remember taking care of her when she was a baby. lol I remember feeding her milk or putting her to sleep in my arms. Insha'Allah these will be my next entries. I think this a bit too long.

Im also going to write about the trip to Georgia Insha'Allah soon.

Please keep my family in your dua'as Insha'Allah especially my mother.

May Allah forgive us all and guide us to the straight path. Ameen
May Allah elevate Asma's status to the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah prepare us for death. Ameen
May Allah take us as believers from this world. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.