Another Reminder of Asma
Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,
I've been pretty busy lately. I have had some time off and had time to take care of things at home and run errands. One of the things I have been able to accomplish is taking care of huge stacks of papers that needed to be thrown away or filed away.
The hardest thing about it is when I come across anything related to Asma. Just a few minutes ago I dug up her hospital bills, blood reports, pathology reports, clinical reports, readings of her x-rays, various documents about the therapies she has either gotten or was about to get. I even found a dated name tag that I had to wear when I visited her at the hospital on the February 9th - six days before she passed away. I also found two notes from the doctor to my professors requesting to excuse me from class.
I'm keeping them all. Everything. I'm just storing them in a box and putting them away somewhere along with her belongings.
It makes me real sad thinking back to those times. Just reminds me of the pain Asma had gone through. Reminds me of the hardship she had to endure. It also reminds me of the pain and heartbreak my parents had to experience during all this.
Subhana'Allah, I'd say that has been the darkest time period of my life. Thinking back to it feels like someone is uncovering the deep wounds in my heart and having salt poured on it. It is so painful. Painful thinking about Asma and her screams and tearful pleas for help. Painful thinking about everything my parents tried to do for Asma. It is beginning to hurt me now. I can feel it in my heart once again.
I think I'm going to visit her grave tomorrow, Insha'Allah.
I guess this also reminds me of another thing - to all the people including my relatives who have hurt her or my parents while she was ill and fighting to live, may Allah punish you all. Ameen
It makes me so furious thinking about the stuff that has happened. One day, Insha'Allah, I will write all about. I will write about everyone who has hurt Asma and my parents in detail and expose them.
May Allah evelate Asma's status to the highest. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah bless and protect my parents and keep them firm upon the Haq. Ameen
May Allah punish everyone who has hurt Asma and my parents especially during the darkest period for us. Ameen
May Allah guide us all and keep us firm on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah give us peace and coolness in our hearts. Ameen
May Allah give us all sabr. Ameen
WasSalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.
posted by AllAboutAsma @ 6:10 PM
2 Comments:
At Friday, January 11, 2008 8:08:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Salam alaikum.
I'vee been reading your blog for a period of time and think I have read every post.
I'vee been finding myself crying several times subhan Allah indeed this is a reminder of death.
But always remeber that there is a reason for everything that happens in this duniya. Be patient my brother.. "after patients comes victory".
May Allah reward and forgive you and your family and gather you with Asma in jannat al firdaws, ameen.
At Saturday, January 12, 2008 2:22:00 PM,
Anonymous said…
Assalaamu 'alykum wa Rahmatullaah
yaa akhy reading your posts are always full of reminders and are inspirational and may Allaah reward you immensely for it.
My only reservations to this post is the du'a you made that Allaah punish those who hurt Asma or your parents, please dont do that, rise above that and forgive and move on, we all make mistakes, make du'a instead that Allaah forgives them despite the pain they have caused so Allaah may forgive you in Aakhirat and show you mercy because you were able to show mercy. Its not easy but when you have Allaah and desire for His love and mercy at the forefront of everything then it will become easy inshaa Allaah. If you want Allaah to cover your faults on yaum al qiyaamat and not expose you dont expose people, you dont want to fall into backbiting either.
take care
wa salaam
amatullah
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