This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Friday, February 17, 2006

Love For The Muslims

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

I know I have kind of slacked off updating this blog, but I had to do a few things that kept me busy.

Insha'Allah I will be updating more often.

The other day when I was thinking about Muslims dying, getting tortured, raped, and savagely beaten by the kuffar, I remembered the time where Asma was got very upset.

Subhana'Allah this story just motivates me and makes me realize how low and weak I am in Imaan. Asma at around 10 years of age had way more Imaan than I did...or atleast thats what it seemed like.

I remember watching a video of a Chechen fighter literally being slaugthered. The video was upclose with live sound. The kaffir had a knife and was slowly cutting the throat of the Muslim. You could hear and see the Muslim in pain and how he was choking on blood.

I came home and told my dad about that. My mother was there and so were my brother and Asma. Asma was on her bed downstairs playing and talking to us.

I had finished telling my father about the video and he was very sad and depressed. Asma had been quiet for the whole time I was telling the story.

All of a sudden, she started to weep really loud. She would crying so much, so loud. She felt so hurt and bad about the Muslim who was slaughtered. Subhana'Allah. :'(

Subhana'Allah look Asma loved Muslims so much. She hated the kuffar who did this. Allahu Akbar!

When I was 10, I didnt even know the difference. Asma stopped talking and hanging with the kuffar. She only spoke to Muslims. She loved the Muslims. She would do anything and everything for a fellow Muslim.

When she would hear about a Muslim in pain, she would lose sleep over it and keep thinking about it. Wallah she would do that.

One time we were at the hospital for Asma's appointment, the nurse told Asma to pick out a present. They all loved her. So Asma picked up a necklace (and I think earrings too). She told us she was going to give it to a Muslim girl who was also going through Osteosarcoma (type of cancer that Asma had). She said I know how it feels and I want to give it to her. Subhana'Allah look at that.

Asma loved presents and jewelry. Yet, she decided to give it to that girl instead of keeping it for herself. Subhana'Allah Asma never got to give it to her. Asma was really looking forward to meeting her, but for some reason the people didnt seem too eager to meet her. Allahu Alim. I could tell Asma felt so hurt. :( Asma thought it was because of her illness and her amputated leg.

Anyways, Asma put others before herself. She put Muslims before herself. If someone would do something for her, she would do the same in return, but more. She would take the extra step. Allahu Akbar!

Its such an honor to know that she was once my sister. I learned so much from her. Wallahi I did.

She had so much love for the Muslims. Allahu Akbar!

May Allah grant Asma the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah grant my parents and family shiffa and sabr. Ameen
May Allah grant shiffa and sabr to that girl and her family Asma got a gift for. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

February 9th, 2005

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

One year ago on Wednesday, February 9th, Asma came home from the hospital. She went into the hospital to get a catheter and a pic-line put in to allow us to inject medicine in her body.

The pic-line was connected in her chest and eventually going to her heart. The other end of the line was about 6 inches long and was hanging from her chest.

Anyways, she had a minor surgery to put in the line during later morning/afternoon. The doctor told us there is a big chance she wouldnt make it. In fact, according to the doctor, she "may die on the table."

It was expect to take about an hour for the surgery. We were all sad when she was going. Actually, she made a deal with us and the doctors lol. She said that the only way she will go is if the doctors let us go in with her into the operating room so I can transfer her onto the operating table. She didnt trust the doctors or the nurses at all.

As they were sedating her through her IV via her pic-line, she was slowly falling asleep. As she was, she continously would say, "La Illaha Ilalla Muhammad RasoolAllah."

She would always say that whenever she was put to sleep. Allahu Akbar!

I transferred her onto the operating table and went into the waiting room. My parents and I were waiting there and crying. All of a sudden, the doctor came to us and said, "All done! Shes doing well."

We were very surprised and so happy and took a deep breath.

We met her in the back in her room in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). She was sleeping like a baby when he got there.

We just sat around her and kept looking at her. My mom trimmed her toe nails of her right leg (and only leg) and of her hands. We cleaned her up. Subhana'Allah, she looked so pretty and beautiful. I can still see it.

The doctor came later on in the day towards the evening and told us we can go home. They told us she wouldnt live long. We denied it. We said she will live and fight through it. Subhana'Allah.

So we went home. Since Asma was paralyzed in the end, we couldnt take her in the wheelchair. We had to take her in the hospital bed that she was sleeping on.

I went ahead and pulled the van around in the back where the Ambulances drop off patients in the Emergency Room (ER).

They rolled the whole bed out next to my van. Now keep in mind this is was during the winter night. It was freezing cold and Asma was in her hospital clothes. She only had a little blanket over her.

I reclined her seat all the way down so she can be comfortable.

I put my right arm underneath her knee and my left arm under her upper back. I lifted her up like a baby in my arms and rested her on the seat. My parents helped me out too. She was very cold. She was shivering. I wrapped her in the blankets and turned the heat on high.

When we got in, she started to have breathing attacks because she was nervous. However we calmed her down and she was okay.

It took us about an hour to get home. We were happy that everything went well it was just another obstacle that we overcame in our ongoing struggle against cancer. Subhana'Allah.

We got home. It was difficult to take her inside. However, we managed to do it. I used the same technique when picking her up and carryng her.

I took her inside and rested her on her bed.

She was weak, tired, and cold.

We felt good that night thinking that we were making progress.

Little did we know what was going to happen Friday morning on the 11th...

Subhana'Allah I want to cry...

May Allah grant Asma the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah grant my parents and my family sabr. Ameen
May Allah grant my parents shiffa and my family shiffa. Ameen

Wow Subahana'Allah... :'(

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

When I Turned 23.

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

Well, I turned 24 today, Alhamdulillah. All praises be to Allah.

I have been up for over a 24 hours now. I couldnt sleep last night. I kept thinking about Asma and what it was like during her last days.

It will be a year on the 11th since she has passed away. I remember during her last few days, she was very sick. Not only she was mostly paralyzed, but her body was slowly shutting down. Her system was shutting down and giving up.

It was obvious her health was declining. She wouldnt speak. She wouldnt move. She wouldnt laugh. She wouldnt cry. She was just in bed hooked up to the oxygen.

Because her 1 1/2 lungs were collapsed, she had a hard time breathing. She would constantly have breathing/coughing attacks. She would constantly cough to get fluid out, but rarely did she ever get anything out.

As days went by, as she coughed more and more, you could sense how the coughs were getting weaker and weaker. You could hear fluids inside her while she breathed.

Anyways, as described above, this is how Asma was one year ago when I turned 23. During her last days, I was sleeping downstairs with her and my mom. Asma was in the bed that we had for downstairs. My mom was on the recliner and I slept on the couch.

All throughout the night, every 5 minutes I would here her cough. And whenever she coughed, she would yell out, "Omar! Saas! Emergency!" ("Omar! Breathing attack. Emergency!")

I would quickly get up and hook her up to the oxygen machine as well as the Nebulizer. Sometimes it would calm her down. Other times it wouldnt.

There were times when she coughed for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT! Nonstop! Subhana'Allah.

Anyways, one of the times I got up and told her, "Asma guess what? Im 23. hehe"

I was looking for every way to make her feel better and cheer up.

Heres the sad part...when I told her I turned 23, she remained silent. However, when I saw her, I could tell she wanted to smile and laugh. I could tell her by facial expression.

She would always tease me of how Im getting old. lol

But it really got me sad. It got me sad because it was hard to see her motionless and in pain.

If anything, she would say "Allahu Akbar!" or "La Illaha Illillah Muhammad RasoolAllah."

Subhana'Allah, it was really a depressing scene. I can still hear her voice and coughs and the sounds of the oxygen machines.

Subhana'Allah. :(

I just thought Id share this since I have been thinking about that all night.

May Allah raise Asma's status to the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma again. Ameen
May Allah give us all sabr and shiffa. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah.