"What if I die now? Am I ready?"

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

I havent updated this for a long time because I have been busy with things at home and school.

However, I will update this more often.

Im sitting to Quran by Saleh At-Talib (hes the young #3 guy who recites at the Haram). Masha'Allah, beautiful voice and recitation.

Anyways, listening to his recitation reminds of the time in Saudi and when I did Hajj. One of the things I remember is that how I kept thinking of Asma whenever I would make dua'a or do tawaaf around the Ka'ba. Subhana'Allah wherever I would go or whatever I would do, Asma wouldnt leave my mind.

Anyways, lately I have been doing a lot of "soul searching" and realizing where I am and where I stand. Talking with my best friend to attending Aqeeda classes to listening to Quran, they all made me ponder about how life is so temporary.

That scares me. We are here for a little bit. We have (either Heaven or Hell) ahead of us. What if I end up in Hell?

I see that Im always thinking of Asma and how much I miss her. I wish and pray that I can be united with her once again in Jannah.

However, truth is, Asma is gone and shes preserved now. Insha'Allah she is/was sinless since she left this dunya while pure and innocent. She was a little girl.

However, unlike her, I am older and have made many mistakes and committed many sins. If I die, am I ready to face my Rabb? Am I ready to face the questioning in the grave? Wallah it scares me.

Asma always used to tell me let go of bad habits and become a better person. She would advise me. Subhana'Allah, she kept me from doing bad things.

Asma's death has taught me a lot. Many times I find myself slipping away and going astray again. However, constant reminders bring me back to track. I feel like I have wasted so much time. I cant waste any more time.

I dont know if I am making any sense. I dont know if any of this makes sense to you guys.

All Im trying to say is that we need check ourselves and see where we stand. I first and foremost say to myself that I need to change for the better.

Lets stop to think for a minute and ask ourselves if we are ready to die. If not, what are we doing about it?

I get emails often from people who read this blog and tell me how they either went through similar experiences as me or how this blog has reminded them of death and how they are going to change.

I just got an email from a sister who read my blog with her friend and I guess it "hit" them especially because of personal, similar experience as mine.

Subhana'Allah, that in itself is one of the reasons why I created this blog. I wanted to remind people of death and how short our life is. Of course, I remind myself before anyone else.

What if I die now? Am I ready?

May Allah forgive me and guide me to the straight path. Ameen
May Allah forgive us all and guide us to the straight path. Ameen
May Allah open up our hearts and lead us to the truth. Ameen
May Allah take us as Believers. Ameen
May Allah protect us from evil and harm. Ameen
May Allah give shiffa to the ones who are ill and give them sabr. Ameen
May Allah grant a spacious grave to the deceased and the prevent them from the fitnah of the grave and akhirah. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.