"I can't hear anymore."

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

As mentioned before, Asma was mostly bed-ridden throughout her illness. There is only so much you can do while sitting in one position pretty much 24/7. Even if it is something you love doing, you cannot do it 24/7.

One of the things she did while in bed was watch T.V. She sometimes watched cartoons - mostly the ones where a kid can learn from. Anyway, one day she was watching T.V. as I was sitting next to her. I would usually sit with her while my mom would be cooking. Someone made sure to be with her in case of an emergency.

One of Asma's favorite cartoons was, 'Clifford the Red Dog.' She'd watch often and eventually knew each of the shows by heart. On that particular day as I sat by her, she turned her face from the T.V. and towards me and said, "I can't hear anymore."

With a confused look, I replied, "What? What do you mean?"

Asma said as she smiled, "I can't hear. The dog whistled, but I couldn't hear."

"Well, how do you know he whistled if you didn't hear it?," I asked.

Asma responds to me and says, "I watched this before and I know he whistled, but I can't hear that anymore."

She continues on and whistles. "Can you hear that?"

"Yes," I replied.

Asma said, "Yeah, well I can't."

That was when my heart sunk. Outwardly I tried to act all macho, but inside I wanted to curl into a ball as in a fetal position and never wanted to get up again. I tried to act macho and not show any emotions because Asma was smiling and didn't seem to care. She had the 'Oh well. Lets get over it. Move on.' type of attitude.

We later soon realized and came to learn that she had a part hearing loss due to the chemotherapy that she had gotten. Amongst many side effects/damages, hearing loss was one of them. She was unable to hear anything that was high-pitched.

She stopped being able to tell when her thermometer went off or when a smoke alarm had gone off.

It was a sad thing to see. But, what could have you done? It was a bitter part of the reality and we had to accept it.

Sad? Yes.

Heartbreaking? Yes.

Lesson learned? Yes. I learned (I think we all did) that Asma had taught me to be a strong person regardless of what we may encounter in our lives. There is someone who has it worse than we do.

I feel embarrassed when I think how Asma used to deal with trials and how I deal with them. She was 10 years younger than me...

Subhana'Allah.

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest level. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah reward and bless my parents for going through this ordeal with keeping faith in Allah. Ameen
May Allah forgive us of our sins and guide us all and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers. Ameen

WasSalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.