This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Almost Drowned in the Pacific Ocean

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Yesterday the T.V. was on and for a split second they showed huge waves somewhere in an ocean. When my mom saw that, she recalled the time when my parents, Asma and I were about to drown.

It was when we were in Tijuana, Mexico for Asma's treatment. We were there because all the other doctors either refused to treat her or told us that we should pretty much take her home and make her comfortable as much as possible and prepare for death. I think I've written about our trip to Mexico, but Insha'Allah I will write more about it as Im never out of memories of Asma. You can give me a point in time and I go on and on and ramble away with memories of Asma.

It was on the Pacific Ocean (I think that's correct) where we almost drowned. About one hundred yards from us, was a fence that was dividing the border of U.S. and Mexico. One one side was U.S. and on the other side was Mexico.

I dont know why, but there werent any people there. Actually, it was a good thing they werent there. That gave us a bit more room and freedom to go there without worrying about any fitnah.
Asma loved beaches. She loved to play in the sand. She would make anything everything from sand. lol

Since Asma had her whole leg amputated all the way up to her hip, she was wheelchair bound. Because it was only my parents and Asma, I would do much of the pushing of her wheelchair. My parents would get tired more than they already were.

At first going to the beach was a challenge. I mean its hard enough to walk sometimes in the sand, yet here I am with a wheelchair. But of course, I'd do anything for Asma.

Even before going down to the sand, I had to down about 3-4 sets of stairs of 5. So I turned her wheelchair around and tilted her wheelchair back so that I could roll her wheelchair down on the back wheels step by step. That itself was a task.

Then was once we came down to the sand, the next obstacles was actually going through the sand. How would I push her wheelchair through sand? I decided to turn her around her wheelchair again and pull her wheelchair backwards on its back wheels again. Even though it worked, it was a workout in itself. I felt it in my arms. lol

Asma happily got out of her wheelchair and sat on the sand and started to play. She was very excited. She made everything and anything with sand until she got tired and bored. My parents were talking to each other. Asma then wanted to soak her foot in water.

Ever since Asma became ill, she was the one and only concern in our life, especially for my parents. All they did was worry and try to think of ways to help Asma win the battle against cancer. If you ever saw them smile, it was only on the outside. Inside they were crying and torn apart.

Anyways, surely enough, we agreed to do that. I picked Asma up so that she could stand on her foot. Whenever Asma wanted to stand on her foot, I would hold her from the back. She would raise her arms all the way up allowing me to wrap my arounds her, tightly holding her. She would then put her arms back down and start to slowly walk as she would take steps with her foot. I would in a way guide her where to go.

We got up to the edges of of where the waves came to a stop and go back. It was enough for Asma to get her foot soaked. She liked it. The water was nice and cool. It was refreshing. It came up to our ankles. My parents were there too. Wallahi anything that made Asma happy, it made my parents happy too. A smile on her put a smile on my parents. :'( Subhana'Allah.

Everything was going well. Asma was happy and so were my parents. I was happy too knowing everyone else was happy.

All of a sudden the currents got stronger and the water actually went pretty far out. Now, it may not seem much when I say that the water was up to the ankles, but it is a lot especially when the currents are strong and you are holding someone who is totally depending on you.

As the water would go back into the ocean, the sand underneath our feet would also wash away with the water. This caused us to lose balance and something to stand upon.

You know how if you spin in circles really fast and then stop and you feel dizzy and everything around is spinning? Well thats exactly how it seemed to us when looking down at the water and how fast the sand was being washed away.

My first instinct was to hold on to Asma firmly and make sure she was in my arms and in my control. Honestly, I didnt care what would have happened to me. I just told myself, "If I drown, so be it. Oh well." There was no way in hell would I let something happen to Asma. She was our little precious jewel.

The problem didnt stop there though. I also had to worry about my parents. Obviously I didnt want them to drown either. I had to worry about my parents and Asma.

Although I was worried about both of my parents and Asma, I was more worried for my mom and Asma because I knew my dad could handle himself whereas my mom wouldnt be able to.

My dad was holding Asma with his left hand and my mom with his right. My mom was holding Asma with her right hand.

I kept telling my parents to get away from the water and walk back so they can be safe. I wanted to focus on saving Asma, but I also had to worry about my parents. My parents wouldn't go. My mom was shouting more than my dad. We were afraid we would lose Asma. :'(

I kept telling them go and not worry about me and Asma. But they kept refusing and instead told me to get out with Asma. Their main concern was saving Asma and I.

I somehow was able to plant my feet firmly into the sand (even with the water washing it away). It was hard trying to maintain balance and keep Asma tightly in my arms.

Anyways, I, with the help my of parents, did manage to get Asma out of the water and onto the land where it was safe for us. Alhamdulillah.

We looked at the water and how we were about to get swallowed by the massive ocean. Subhana'Allah. Just look at the power and strength of Allah. Its a reminder of how Mighty and Powerful Allah is. Just look around you. Nothing is done or created without the Will of Allah. Allahu Akbar!

Subhana'Allah I was so relieved and happy that Asma and my parents were okay. My heart was beating so fast. I just didnt want anything to happen to my parents and Asma. I feel like thats all I have in this parents and Asma. Well, now Asma is gone. The little Princess is gone. :'(

We made sure never to go back again. I dont know how, but we made it out safely. Well, it was the Will of Allah. Nothing but His Will. Subhana'Allah.

After we went back to the clinic we were staying at and even when we went back home in Chicago, we would think about the scare in the water and actually laugh at it, but even more we would think how we were saved by Allah SubhanaWata'ala.

After thinking about all this, I wish I can hold Asma once again and wrap my arms around her one more time. Just once more... :'(

May Allah elevate Asma's status to the highest in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah reward my parents greatly for all what they did and going through right now. Ameen
May Allah give them sabr and shiffa. Ameen
May Allah give my parents happiness and strength to get through this trial. Ameen
May Allah make us all better Muslims and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah allow us to prepare for death. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Muslims. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.


  • At Thursday, December 28, 2006 8:17:00 AM, Anonymous amatullah51 said…

    Assalaamu3alykum wa Rahmatullah

    you must be thinking about Asma rahmatullah 'alyha a lot as you'v posted up so soon after last, may Allah jalla jalaaluh make things easy for you and your family ameen

    jazakAllah khayr ahsanul jazaa' for sharing your experiences truly it is a reminder to us all of death and power of Allah 'azza wa jall.

    Ameen to all the du3as


  • At Saturday, December 30, 2006 11:44:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    asalaamualaikum, i've been reading and keeping up with the updates on this blog, and subhanAllah I never X out of it without tears in my eyes & the reminder of death on my mind..
    I'm also always in awe of Asma and her courage/bravery/faith in Allah..subhanAllah! how amazing of a girl she was mashaaAllah, may Allah grant her the HIGHEST level in Jannah. ameen.

    may Allah keep you and your family on the straight path ameen.

    Ameen to all the duas..
    JazakAllah khayr brother for all the thought, and reflections you put into this blog..may Allah reward you. ameen

  • At Monday, January 01, 2007 6:16:00 PM, Anonymous UmmNour said…

    Asalamu Alaikum

    SubhanAllah,everytime i come here, my eyes get filled up with tears subhanAllah. Everyone has their own test. And mashallah it's really nice the way you keep asma alive by remembering her so often and by posting about her so often. The part that gets me the most, is the way you describe your memories. Memories can cause you so much pain but yet at the same time bring some sort of relief. Sometimes when i think of the good times, they seem so think "wow, did we really have that much joy in our lives back then?"

    May Allah bless your little sister and reunite you in Jannah

  • At Friday, January 05, 2007 7:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ameen to the duaas.
    Sorry for my late reply, but lately I don't feel like writing or doing anything.
    Bro, Asma was a special case, and as much as there is sadness in your home, but if you think about it, she's gone back in her makers arms.
    Is that really sad that she's gone back to Allah? That not only does she have an extrememly good chance of going to Jannah, but also helping you and your family on the day of judgement, and inshaAllah you will join her.
    Allah never breaks promises!
    Like someone else mentioned memories cause a lot of pain, but you shouldn't forget about those memories.
    I know people are gonna be like "you need to move on now".
    No you should keep those memories, because they are precious to you.

    You know my mum was telling me about a girl who is about 8 years old. She's the daughter of my uncles friend.
    We've never actually met those people in our lives, my mother was telling me about them and she couldn't hold back her tears.
    There's this girl, almost identical to the things you say about asma, it seems as if the names just changed.
    She's still waiting to be diagnosed, and they've placed her in a clinic with other cancer patients who are having chemotherapy treatment, and their hair has all fallen out.
    They suspect that she has cancer and its highly possible now, but it hasn't been confirmed.
    We're all hoping inshaAllah that there isn't anything too alarming.
    However her mum has gone thin, she hardly gets any sleep, and is through extreme depression, which is understandable.

    The things I've heard about this girl, subhan Allah, she fits the same characteristics of your sis.
    When I hear about people like that, you know they're a special case, they put me at shame.
    They say she prays on time, fajr and all the rest of the prayers, she reads the quran, and is a very devote muslim, fasts on ramadan, basically she's like an angel.
    Now I really want to go visit her at the hospital and trying to talk my mum into it.
    I mean we don't really know these people, and never even seen them. I don't want to be like those assholes who show up one day because of their temporary "good will" and treat you like a charity, which is the last thing they need.

    If anything she should feel sorry for us, she is battling with something at such a young age that would petrify most of us at this age. I would want to encourage her, but I'm just going through a weird dilemna myself, just thinking how I'll be recieved as usual, and just who do I think I am?
    I know I ain't shit LOL, and I'm gonna go there and give someone who is ten times better than me "moral support".
    Bro I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore LOL, but just don't forget me in your duaas, and if you have any suggestions, since you went through this stage. I can't really look at it from an outsider perspective like you can.


  • At Sunday, January 07, 2007 6:02:00 AM, Anonymous amatullah51 said…

    Assalaamu'alykum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh

    to muslimfreedom

    jazakAllah khayr for your concern about this little sister, is it possible for you to tell us where our dear little sister is so that we may visit her and her family and support them in whatever way we can (if we are anywhere near that is). i would be really grateful if you could somehow inshaAllah, of course it wouldnt be ideal to put the details all over the internet so if you could email it to br Omar and then i can email him for it? please let me know jazakAllah khayr

    take care

  • At Thursday, January 11, 2007 9:35:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Opps, sorry now I see what you meant, didn't realise you asked me a question.
    Yes her daughter is in the Charing Cross Hospital in London as far as I know.
    I haven't really spoken to my mum about this for quite some time because all the time I have been spending is at university just revising and completing assignments.
    I've forgotten the ladies name so I'll give you more details.

    My aunt visited her already, she should probably know more.
    As soon as I can get her details I'll post them here.

    Thats the address, but I need to confirm if its actually Charing Cross:

    Charing Cross Hospital,
    Fulham Palace Road,
    Greater London,
    W6 8RF
    Tel: 020 8846 1234


    P.S when I said "can you link me" I meant as in, can you give me the direct link of where you posted LOL.
    But you have a nice blog and I wouldn't mind swapping links.

  • At Sunday, January 14, 2007 2:09:00 AM, Anonymous amatullah51 said…

    Assalaamu'alykum wa Rahmatullah

    jazakAllah khayr muslimfreedom for the info, considering distance i am saddened i wont be able to visit but please do confirm the details for anyone else who may be able to visit our little sister.

    deepest apologies for misunderstanding what you meant.


  • At Friday, January 19, 2007 5:19:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Asalaamu Alaikum,

    I was looking for Islamic poetry when I came across your blog.

    I would like to say how I feel but I don't know how to express them. Tears are to be blamed.


    -Somali Sister-.

  • At Sunday, January 21, 2007 3:48:00 AM, Anonymous abu ameerah said…

    As'Salaamu Alaikum wa'Rahmatullah...

    Dear Brother,

    i don't have much to say - other than the fact that this blog has made me feel sad, subhanallah. your blog probably makes a lot of people feel that way but let me be honest....i couldn't help but shed a tear (or two or 5,000).

    the way in which you so poignantly captured the last moments of life with your sister reduced me to a blubbering-whale-of-a-man. I say that because i basically resemble every physical stereotype of an "Islamic Radical" that you could mention - right down to the thobe and leather socks.

    Furthermore akhi, the way you vividly recall some of the more intimate family moments with your sister are also quite moving, mashallah.

    May Allah (Azza wa'Jall) reunite your and your family with your sister in al Akhira, Ameen!

    May He (awj) make your efforts to share stories of your sister a Dawah for all those who come upon this blog, Ameen!


    abu ameerah


Post a Comment

<< Home