Blessing In Disguise

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

I got back probably an hour ago from from my sister's grave. I went there shortly after Fajr.

On the way there I was thinking how its a blessing that she passed away. I know this may sound a bit odd, but its true. My parents say the same thing whenever we talk about her.

She had her leg amputated all the way up to the hip. She was confined to the wheelchair/bed most of the time. She had other problems that were created by chemotherapy. She was dependent on others. She was a very shy person. Her personality was such that even if anyone physically harmed her, she would remain quiet and not say a word. She would just have sabr and move on.

Sometimes she would tell me later and I would kind of upset because I wanted the beat the crap out of anyone who would try to hurt her.

Anyways, what Im trying to say is that this world wasnt for her. She would have had a very hard time surviving. People are so damn cruel. They are heartless.

There was a time (quite of few months before she passed away) when we took Asma to this Muslim gathering. We took her for food, clothes, and to meet people. Subhana'Allah she was quite popular. lol People I didnt even know were coming up to her and saying, "ASMA!! Kasi hoi?!?!" ("ASMA!! How are you?!?!") I would just stand there trying to figure what had just happened. I will be thinking why dont they say that to me. lol

I would ask Asma how come everyone knows her. She would say, "I guess Im just popular." lol She would say that to tease me. Funny stuff.

Well people knew her because she was on the radio a few times (Muslim one here in Chicago) and she basically told them whats going on with her and also recited some Surahs. She won many hearts. She just called in to see what would happen. She didnt even expect anything).

Anyways, at the gathering, this lady that my parents have known for many years saw my mom and Asma and walked towards them. Asma was in a wheelchair talking and eating. Out of nowhere, this lady that my parents know starts to look Asma up and down in her wheelchair. Asma was feeling uncomfortable obviously. My mom asked her what she was doing.

Get ready for this lady's retarded response. She told my mom she was looking for Asma's leg and wanted to see how she looks without her leg. What a bitch. Leave the little girl alone.

My mom became furious and told her off and to never ever do that again. She told her never to talk about her daughter like that again. Im surprised she didnt knock her out.

Later on when Asma and I were joking around, she told me what had happened. I asked her how she felt when my mom told her off.

Asma said, "I was so happy mom got mad at her and yelled at her. I was so proud of her. I was so mad at the lady. I wanted to punch her so bad."

When Asma said that, I wanted to cry. I felt so bad. Asma wasnt the type of girl who would want to hurt anyone or even get revenge. She never wanted to. However, her wanting to punch the lady shows how hurt Asma was. Man, imagine some one doing that to you. I personally would tell the person to go to hell or something and push them away if I was in Asma's place.

But Asma being a shy, patient girl, she kept it in. Alhamdulillah my mom was there. May Allah reward her and Asma. Ameen

So this is what I mean that the world is cruel and harsh. Its a blessing she passed away. Obviously it was better for her. However, for us, its been very painful. The emotional and physical attachment that we had was very close and tight. Its very tough and hard to live without her.

People tell us all the time to forget about her and move on. Do they really listen to themselves when they say that to us? Subhana'Allah.

Everyday I think of her. Everyday I miss her. Everyday I want to see her again. Everyday I make dua'a that I along with my whole family am reunited with Asma again.

May Allah reward my parents and Asma. Ameen
May Allah forgive Asma and grant her Janatul Firdaus. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma again. Ameen
May Allah guide the people who are selfish and heartless. Ameen
May Allah protect us from evil and harm. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.