This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

When I Turned 23.

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

Well, I turned 24 today, Alhamdulillah. All praises be to Allah.

I have been up for over a 24 hours now. I couldnt sleep last night. I kept thinking about Asma and what it was like during her last days.

It will be a year on the 11th since she has passed away. I remember during her last few days, she was very sick. Not only she was mostly paralyzed, but her body was slowly shutting down. Her system was shutting down and giving up.

It was obvious her health was declining. She wouldnt speak. She wouldnt move. She wouldnt laugh. She wouldnt cry. She was just in bed hooked up to the oxygen.

Because her 1 1/2 lungs were collapsed, she had a hard time breathing. She would constantly have breathing/coughing attacks. She would constantly cough to get fluid out, but rarely did she ever get anything out.

As days went by, as she coughed more and more, you could sense how the coughs were getting weaker and weaker. You could hear fluids inside her while she breathed.

Anyways, as described above, this is how Asma was one year ago when I turned 23. During her last days, I was sleeping downstairs with her and my mom. Asma was in the bed that we had for downstairs. My mom was on the recliner and I slept on the couch.

All throughout the night, every 5 minutes I would here her cough. And whenever she coughed, she would yell out, "Omar! Saas! Emergency!" ("Omar! Breathing attack. Emergency!")

I would quickly get up and hook her up to the oxygen machine as well as the Nebulizer. Sometimes it would calm her down. Other times it wouldnt.

There were times when she coughed for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT! Nonstop! Subhana'Allah.

Anyways, one of the times I got up and told her, "Asma guess what? Im 23. hehe"

I was looking for every way to make her feel better and cheer up.

Heres the sad part...when I told her I turned 23, she remained silent. However, when I saw her, I could tell she wanted to smile and laugh. I could tell her by facial expression.

She would always tease me of how Im getting old. lol

But it really got me sad. It got me sad because it was hard to see her motionless and in pain.

If anything, she would say "Allahu Akbar!" or "La Illaha Illillah Muhammad RasoolAllah."

Subhana'Allah, it was really a depressing scene. I can still hear her voice and coughs and the sounds of the oxygen machines.

Subhana'Allah. :(

I just thought Id share this since I have been thinking about that all night.

May Allah raise Asma's status to the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma again. Ameen
May Allah give us all sabr and shiffa. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah.


  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 4:31:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Assalamu alaikum

    Very touching. May Allah (swt) give you ease and reward you for taking care of your sister.


    A sister

  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 4:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    aameen ya rabb to all ur dua's!

  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 5:26:00 PM, Anonymous Saimah said…


    Happy Birthday. May Allah reward Asma for all the pain and suffering she went through. May Allah make these next few days easy for you and your family. May Allah accept everyone's duaas.

  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 7:27:00 PM, Blogger psykomantium said…


    May this coming year be good for you.

  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 8:27:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Assalaamu Alaikum ...just to say happy birthday ... Asma's blog always bring tears to my eyes ..may Allah make the next few days easy for u and your family ..and grant Asma and all the muslims Jannah Ameen ...take care of yourself ..


  • At Tuesday, February 07, 2006 10:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    as-salam 'alaykum

    yo, stop saying happy birthday (naseeha).

    may Allah unite you & family with Asma in Jannat Al Firdaws. Ameen

  • At Wednesday, February 08, 2006 12:47:00 AM, Blogger Hijabi4Life said…

    Ameen to the duas. Find strength in remembering Allah especially during times like these...I know the memories are so precious and so painful at the same time but remember that in the end, we are all going to return to Him and let that prepare you for the day when you enter your grave. SubhanAllah...every pain we suffer expiates our sins...think about how much Asma suffered...and you will find comfort in knowing that inshaAllah she went to Allah with a clean, spotless record.

  • At Thursday, February 09, 2006 11:56:00 AM, Blogger Zahera said…

    Its so difficult seeing your loved ones in pain. I can truly relate to you when you say you can almost hear her breathing and coughing. I experienced the loss of someone who was also very close to me; my little nephew Ibby :-)
    SubhanAllah what a joy he was! Amazing little boy who taught the restof us the meaning of sabar and gratitude!
    As difficult as it was coming to terms with his death, it was even more difficult seeing him go through so much pain and discomfort.It makes you think, that if it is Allah's will that this loved one is taken away from us rather than be in pain, then all i can say is SubhanAllah.
    There are still moments when i can imagine Ibby's cheeky smile or the way he would throw the ball in my face and then laugh his pretty little head off :-D

    Truly, people who are less fortunate than us remind us of that which we have been blessed with; its a shame thats what it takes for us to make shukar for simple things like having 2 arms adnd 2 legs.

    May Allah (swt) grant Asma jannah and may He guide us all on the straight path.


  • At Friday, February 10, 2006 10:49:00 AM, Anonymous Aysha said…

    Assalam Alaikum

    Yesterday, February 9th...1 year ago, Asma went into the ICU (it was a Wednesday) to have have the phlegm (or whatever it was that made her cough) sucked out. Once we got to Rush (the hospital), for some reason we didn't have that done. Instead we had the pickline (sp?) inserted & had Asma hydrated. Today, 1 year ago, I took the day off from school because I didn't study for my U.S. history test. Alhumdulillah, this was my last full day with my sister. I made a nice salad for her, but she didn't eat it. May Allaah unite us with her in Jannah, Ameen. (I'm going to write this stuff on my pages as well, inshaAllaah). :'(

    Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu


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