February 9th, 2005

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

One year ago on Wednesday, February 9th, Asma came home from the hospital. She went into the hospital to get a catheter and a pic-line put in to allow us to inject medicine in her body.

The pic-line was connected in her chest and eventually going to her heart. The other end of the line was about 6 inches long and was hanging from her chest.

Anyways, she had a minor surgery to put in the line during later morning/afternoon. The doctor told us there is a big chance she wouldnt make it. In fact, according to the doctor, she "may die on the table."

It was expect to take about an hour for the surgery. We were all sad when she was going. Actually, she made a deal with us and the doctors lol. She said that the only way she will go is if the doctors let us go in with her into the operating room so I can transfer her onto the operating table. She didnt trust the doctors or the nurses at all.

As they were sedating her through her IV via her pic-line, she was slowly falling asleep. As she was, she continously would say, "La Illaha Ilalla Muhammad RasoolAllah."

She would always say that whenever she was put to sleep. Allahu Akbar!

I transferred her onto the operating table and went into the waiting room. My parents and I were waiting there and crying. All of a sudden, the doctor came to us and said, "All done! Shes doing well."

We were very surprised and so happy and took a deep breath.

We met her in the back in her room in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). She was sleeping like a baby when he got there.

We just sat around her and kept looking at her. My mom trimmed her toe nails of her right leg (and only leg) and of her hands. We cleaned her up. Subhana'Allah, she looked so pretty and beautiful. I can still see it.

The doctor came later on in the day towards the evening and told us we can go home. They told us she wouldnt live long. We denied it. We said she will live and fight through it. Subhana'Allah.

So we went home. Since Asma was paralyzed in the end, we couldnt take her in the wheelchair. We had to take her in the hospital bed that she was sleeping on.

I went ahead and pulled the van around in the back where the Ambulances drop off patients in the Emergency Room (ER).

They rolled the whole bed out next to my van. Now keep in mind this is was during the winter night. It was freezing cold and Asma was in her hospital clothes. She only had a little blanket over her.

I reclined her seat all the way down so she can be comfortable.

I put my right arm underneath her knee and my left arm under her upper back. I lifted her up like a baby in my arms and rested her on the seat. My parents helped me out too. She was very cold. She was shivering. I wrapped her in the blankets and turned the heat on high.

When we got in, she started to have breathing attacks because she was nervous. However we calmed her down and she was okay.

It took us about an hour to get home. We were happy that everything went well it was just another obstacle that we overcame in our ongoing struggle against cancer. Subhana'Allah.

We got home. It was difficult to take her inside. However, we managed to do it. I used the same technique when picking her up and carryng her.

I took her inside and rested her on her bed.

She was weak, tired, and cold.

We felt good that night thinking that we were making progress.

Little did we know what was going to happen Friday morning on the 11th...

Subhana'Allah I want to cry...

May Allah grant Asma the highest level in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah grant my parents and my family sabr. Ameen
May Allah grant my parents shiffa and my family shiffa. Ameen

Wow Subahana'Allah... :'(

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.