Eid

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

I was going to update this blog on Eid, but wasnt able to do because I have been sick. Actually, Im still sick, but felt like writing about Asma.

Before I go on, I just want to say Eid Mubarak to everyone and ask Allah to accept our fasts and worship during the blessed month of Ramadan. Ameen.

Anyways, this Eid was the first one without Asma. It was the first one ever since Asma passed away.

I couldnt help but to think about the previous Eids that we have had together as a family including Asma. Ever since she became ill, things werent ever the same.

Even though she would good days and bad days, ups and downs, the general trend of her health was going downwards. If you took a step back and looked at the bigger picture, you would see her health was slowly deteroiating.

There were so many factors that brought her health down. Besides cancer, the chemotherapy and various other drugs destroyed her health. Because her health was down, she felt weak most of the time.

However, despite all that, she still wanted to go to the Eid prayers with us. Even when she was frail and weak, she still wanted to go to the Eid prayers with us.

I remember her very first Eid after she was diagnosed with cancer. It was Eid-ul-Fitr on a cold, blustery day. Asma had been in the hospital for a few days now. She had been getting chemotherapy. Obviously, she couldnt leave the hospital.

That didnt stop her, though. She still insisted on having fun. See, to her, Eid meant new clothes, churiya (anyone know a better word for it in English? bracelets?), new shoes, mehendi (henna), hair done, eating sweets, getting gifts and money, and of course, having guests come over and meeting people. Thats what her Eid was all about.

So that day, even though she couldnt leave the hospital, she decided to have Eid at the hospital. She woke up early morning around 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM. Now, keep in mind that because of the chemotherapy and being constantly disturbed during the night, her sleeping routine had changed. During the night, the nurses would come and constantly check her temperature, draw blood, start new IVs, flush her lines, make her use the bathroom, give her medications orally, etc. Its a never-ending list.

She would finally get to sleep go to sleep in themorning after a long night. She would usually wake up anywhere between 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM. However, being awake all night along didnt stop her.

When she woke up early morning, my mom gave her a sponge bath. Asma was excited. She quickly put on her new dress. Asma literally looked like a princess. She was a doll. Her dress was very beautiful.

She had nail polish on along with colorful churiya on both her wrists. Her hair was beautifully done. She had also put on matching dress shoes. She was all set to go.

My father, my brother, my sister, and I all went to the Eid prayer. My mom was at the hospital with Asma. She spent each and every second with Asma at the hospital (May Allah reward my mom. Ameen).

As soon as we prayed, we quickly went home and got food for my mom and Asma. They hated hospital food. Asma couldnt even stand the sight of it.

Soon we were on our way to the hospital. It was about 30 miles away. It usually took us about 45 min to get there. We called them up at the hospital that we were on our way. Asma was very anxious and excited.

We finally got there. We parked the car and went inside. The childerens floor was on the second floow. So we usually took the elevator up. Asma's room was on the other side of the floor. We anxiously walked towards her room. She kept peeking out the door to see if we were coming.

My dad was the first one to enter. Subhana'Allah, her face was lit with joy and happiness. Allahu Akbar!

She was so happy and excited. We all embraced and hugged her. She would ask everyone if she looked pretty. lol She did indeed look pretty.

We sat and talked. We ate. The nurses and the volunteers had found out about our Eid. My father gave them dawah.

They felt bad that Asma couldnt go out for Eid. They decided to decorate her room with streamers and signs. She was excited. They gave her gifts as well.

Everyone was supposed to come see Asma. Asma had waited since the second she woke up. She was expecting all of our relatives to come see her. Nothing made her more happy than to see people come see her. She loved having company.

Well, time goes by. Second after second...Minute after minute...Hour after hour...NO ONE came. She had been up for about 10-14 hours all day long after getting little sleep the previous night. She finally told my parents she wanted to go to sleep. :'( Subhana'Allah that was so sad.

She was tired of waiting and didnt want to wait any longer. She gave up. She was tired and exhausted. I could tell she was hurt and sad inside.

We turned the lights off. She asked my dad to massage her head and put her to sleep. My parets were upset, hurt, sad. They were angry more than anything.

Finally, as Asma was falling asleep, one by one, all my relatives were walking in the room. They were afraid to come in. They were all guilty.

It was too late, however. Asma, after a long day, went to sleep. My mom started to cry. She was so hurt and sad. My father didnt say a word. He was just sitting there angry.

Asma kept sleeping. She didnt wake up. She was sad. She even had taken her clothes off and wore her clothes that she wore at the hospital. She took her churiya off too.

They all left soon. No one really said anything. They couldnt. The night came to an end. We all were pretty bummed out.

However, now that I think about it, Im so glad my family and I spent time with Asma on Eid that day. Alhamdulillah.

Nothing meant more to Asma than to spend time with her family (parents and siblings). :)

Last Eid-ul-Fitr, we were in Mexico for Asma's treatment. Asma wanted to come pretty bad and celebrate Eid with the whole family. She missed Aysha and my brothers.

She was sad. However, my dad's friends came over from Los Angeles, California. Its about 4-5 hours away from where we were. They brought over a whole bunch of GOOD food. Alhamdulillah.

They did ALL that just for Asma. It made her happy. She had been craving desi food with spices. lol Subhana'Allah.

May Allah reward my dad's friends. Ameen
May Allah reward my parents for everything they have done and are continuing to do. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma again in the hereafter. Ameen
May Allah make us better Muslims and guide us to the straight path and keep us on it. Ameen
May Allah forgive us of all of our sins. Ameen
May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.