This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Friday, October 9th, 1992

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Friday, October 9th, 1992; the day Asma was born.

Who would have thought, when she was born, that she would leave before us?

Who would have thought, when she was born, that she would only be with us for 12 years?

Who would have thought, when she was born, that she would go through so much in 12 years?

Cancer wasnt even a thought. Asma and cancer? Impossible...or so we thought. If anything, it'd be us who would get sick or become terminally ill. Not Asma.

She looked just like any other baby. She laughed and played like everyone else.

I still remember holding her and putting her to sleep when she was a little baby. I would lay in bed with Asma on top of me on my chest. I would slowly pat and rub her back as I hummed waiting for her to fall asleep.

Even till recently before she passed away, she would sometimes tell me to put her to sleep by massaging her arms or legs. Sometimes her head, too.

Hey favorite phrase for it was, "Omar, salai me." ("Omar, massage me.") lol She mixed Urdu with English. I guess the best word I think of to translate "salai" into English is "massage."

I even remember that one evening when she was a baby, I was feeding her milk from a bottle while my mom was cooking. She was in my lap drinking milk as I held the bottle. I was watching TV while I was feeding her. I guess I lost track and wasnt paying attention to how much milk Asma had because all of a sudden she throws all the milk back up. lol Subhana'Allah the milk went all over face including her eyes. My mom got upset while my brothers were laughing.

Once Asma got older, I told her about the milk incident and everytime she would laugh so hard. lol Subhana'Allah.

She would ask questions such as, "Did you get in trouble?" or "Did I cry?" or "Were you scared?"

After I would answer, she would laugh. lol Subhana'Allah.

There are so many stories of her childhood that I remember. Insha'Allah sometime in the future I will write about it.

I know it doesnt mean anything, but something interesting I realized after talking to my mom. Asma was born on a Friday at 11:20 A.M.

She passed away on a Friday at 10:20 A.M. I just thought I'd mention this.

As I look back and think about Asma and her life and the things she used to say, two things come to my mind. At the time, we would get upset and tell Asma to refrain from saying such things. However, now that I think about it, it leaves me along with everyone else, speechless.

One of the things that Asma told my mom was, "Mujey teenager nahi ban na." ("I dont want to be a teenager.")

Subhana'Allah, just look at that. She never wanted to be a teenager. She passed away eight months prior to becoming a teenager. She would have become a teenager today as she would have been 13 years old.

Something to think about...

There was another time when Asma said something similar to my mom. One day my mom was talking to Asma about how she will get to do things when shes older. She told Asma how she will get to drive and do various things once shes older.

Asma replied by saying, "No. Watch, I wont make it to be 18. I wont be older."

Imagine what my mom went through. Subhana'Allah, that just breaks your heart.

I also remember what Asma said to me. One day, couple months prior to Asma passing away, I was talking to her about various, random things. One of the things that came up was marriage.

It went something like this:

Me: Are you going to dance at my wedding?
Asma: No.
Me (with a confused/surprised look): Why not?
Asma: Because I might die before that. I dont know if I will be there.

Subhana'Allah, I was speechless. Oh my God, I wanted to cry.

The thing was that whenever she said things like this, she said it casually. In fact, many times she would have a smile on her face while saying it. It was as if dying was no big deal. Wow Subhana'Allah.

Last night after Taraweeh, I was talking to this beautiful brother I have met, Ahmed (may Allah keep him on the straight path and reward him. Ameen). I was showing him around the masjid. I took him down to the basement where they had Salat-ul-Janazah for Asma. It brought back memories of February 12th. Gives me goosebumps whenever I go down there. Subhana'Allah.

Before, I end this, I just want to mention something that Ahmed has said to me last night. Subhana'Allah, its so true. He told me how Asma was a true soldier...a Mujahidah.

Subhana'Allah its so true. No matter what life brought her, all the trials and tribulations, Asma kept firm faith in Allah SubhanaWatalaa. Before EVERY surgery and ANYTIME she would be put to sleep or sedated, last thing Asma always said was, "LA ILLAHA ILALLAHU MUHAMMAD RASOOLALLAH."


Even till the end, Asma always said, "Its a test from Allah. He tests those whom He loves the most."


Can you imagine saying that at the age of 12? I didnt. Subhana'Allah.

I'm afraid to think whats going to happen today. I know my mom and dad will cry...alot. I just hope I can comfort them. I doubt I will say anything though. What can I say? Not much. Subhana'Allah.

Oh Allah, please elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest level. Ameen.
Oh Allah, please reunite us with Asma in Jannah. Ameen.
Oh Allah, please give my parents sabr and shiffa. Ameen.
Oh Allah, please give the rest of my family sabr and shiffa. Ameen.
Oh Allah, please keep us all on the straight path and cleanse our hearts of evil. Ameen.
Oh Allah, please save us all from the fitnah of the grave and Akirah. Ameen.

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.


  • At Sunday, October 09, 2005 11:13:00 AM, Anonymous Saimah said…


    Wow, looking at the pic just clicked for me that she's gone. I can't help but cry. Your fried was right she was a Mujahidah. Without question. As always I will pray for you and your family to get through another day witout her. Just comfort them today and tell them that Allah wanted his angel back thats the only thing you can do. Take care. Ameen to the duas.

  • At Sunday, October 09, 2005 1:27:00 PM, Blogger Hijabi4Life said…

    Inna Lillahi wa Inna Ilayhi Raji'oon.

    SubhanAllah....:'( I wish I could have seen her grave. I wish I could have met her once, at least.

    But we need to remind ourselves that nothing is greater than Qadrullah. Nothing happens without a reason and without wisdom behind it. Only Allah knows..

    I pray that Allah bestows your family with peace, strength and patience during the hardest of times. May Allah swt make it easy for everyone...Ameen.

  • At Sunday, October 09, 2005 2:30:00 PM, Blogger psykomantium said…

    Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oun

    Yes, she was indeed a true Mujahidah. May Allah grant her the best status in Jannah and reunite you and your family with this brave, fearless girl insha Allah.

    With such a character as hers, it's no wonder that Allah only blesses the world with a few Asmas here and there. I wish I could have known her in life, as even in her youth she was a sage.

    Please send your family and parents my salam and du'a, and console them as no doubt today will be a test for them.
    Ma assalam, take care

  • At Sunday, October 09, 2005 4:57:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    May Allah swt give you and your family strength to get thru this day. May Allah swt elevate Asmas state in Jannah. Ameen.

    Brother Jazak Allah for sharing your thoughts, it surely is a reminder for all of us, life is short.


  • At Tuesday, October 11, 2005 10:22:00 PM, Blogger Niqabi said…

    so young, yet so wise.
    she knew, or had some thought.
    she remembered death. so strong the young ones are.
    the good die young.


  • At Tuesday, October 18, 2005 9:37:00 AM, Anonymous daa'iya said…


    Salamualaikum wa rahmatullah.
    Beautiful recount. Inna lilahi wa ina ilayhi raji oon.

    May Allah ta'ala increase our Iman and make the last thing on our lips 'La illa hi Illallah Muhamadu ra soolulah' Ameen

  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 11:00:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Saalams Mr GQ,
    Im really sorry to hear about your sister :(
    Stay strong bro, Asma will be in my doas. And so will you anf your family insha'Allah, and Ameen to the doa


  • At Thursday, October 20, 2005 11:00:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Saalams Mr GQ,
    Im really sorry to hear about your sister :(
    Stay strong bro, Asma will be in my doas. And so will you anf your family insha'Allah, and Ameen to the doa


  • At Friday, October 21, 2005 10:43:00 PM, Anonymous Nadia said…

    Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

    I think I was destined to come across your page and read about your sister. I really needed this reality check. I cried. I really did.

    May Allah give you and your family sabr and may Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest level. Ameen.

    Jazakallah Brother.

  • At Monday, October 24, 2005 5:14:00 PM, Blogger fivetimesaday said…

    Subhanallah I couldnt finish reading it...Inshallah she in Jannah in the best of places...ameen May Allah swt make us all as lucky as her..Inshallah
    wasalma alaiakauam

  • At Tuesday, October 25, 2005 1:25:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Asalamualikum wrwb,
    I really didn't wanted to come back on ur blog again. I was here like in feb. I know If I come back to ur blog dedicated to Asma, then I will be crying again. I just can't control my tears...the way you put ur feel like everything just happened in front of me Subhan'Allah:( this time I ain't going to cry. All I can do iz do dua insha'Alllah.
    May Allah swt make it easy for ur family. May Allah swt grant her highest place in jannah Ameen.
    Indeed, To Allah we all belong, to him we all return.
    Wasalmualikum wr wb.
    ~sister Salafi F J

  • At Tuesday, October 25, 2005 6:38:00 PM, Anonymous Saarah said…

    Your blog made me cry :(
    May Allah grant your sister Jannatul Firdaus and make everything easy for you and your family, InshaAllah.

  • At Wednesday, October 26, 2005 3:55:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


  • At Wednesday, October 26, 2005 9:51:00 PM, Blogger Aftab Iqbal said…

    May Allah Bless Her In The Life Hereafter With Janat. Ameen. Remember shez a shaheed. She will continue to live on even in this temporary world in our hearts. She will be the source of courage to all the little kids here with cancer.She truly died a meaningful death.Remember to always carry on the meaning of her life!! May Allah Bless your family with courage and hope!

  • At Wednesday, October 26, 2005 10:54:00 PM, Blogger fuzzy said…

    I haven't read something so real and emotional in a very long time. Your stories and recollections of Asma made me cry so much. I really needed that. To Him we belong, to Him we Return. May Allah grant her janna and give you and your family patience. ameen.

    - Fuzzy

  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 3:35:00 PM, Anonymous marshall said…

    OMG it did make me cry tht is so heart breaking to read insha allah allah will guide you and make it easy 4 u and yer family.

  • At Thursday, October 16, 2008 8:48:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    i knew this entry was going to get my tears know subhanallah everytime i read about the things she said im shocked because she was so young but had so much wisdom for a youngster.

    i <3 her


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