This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Asma in Ramadan: Disciplined, Determined, Courageous

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

May Allah Subhanawatalaa accept our fasts and our worship to Him. Ameen
May Allah guide us and keep us on the straight path. Ameen

Well, Ramadan is almost over. This blessed of Ramadan has been full of memories. Memories of Asma were always on our minds.

When Ramadan started, I was full of mixed emotions. I was happy, yet sad at the same time. I was excited, yet depressed.

I was happy and excited because it gave me a chance to bring my Imaan back up again and really commit myself to Allah Subhanawatalaa. It was a chance for me to do some soul searching and fix/improve my weaknesses and become a better Muslim, better person.

On the other hand, I was sad and depressed (actually still am) because it was the first Ramadan without Asma. I keep thinking about what Asma used to do during Ramadan.

Last year, I spent Ramadan with my parents and Asma in Mexico. We were in Mexico for Asma's treatment. Subhana'Allah, very depressing time.

Insha'Allah, I will write about the time in Mexico at a later time, but in this post I will talk about our time with Asma during Ramadan over the years.

Asma was a very disciplined person. She kept her word. She had determination. She was a true fighter. Subhana'Allah.

She started to fast at the age of seven. No one told her to do nor did anyone hint it to her. She did it on her own. I still remember when she first told us she was going to fast. On one hand, we believed her, but then on the other hand we didnt take her seriously.

Well, we didnt wake her up for Suhoor in fear that she would really fast if we woke her up. While the rest of the family ate Suhoor, Asma was sleeping. After Suhoor, we prayed and went back to sleep.

Morning comes and we all wake up. lol Subhana'Allah Asma tells us shes fasting! We told her no since she didnt eat Suhoor. She kept insisting that shes fasting.

We then thought that she will eat when she becomes hungry as the day goes on. Well, time passed by. She still hasnt eaten. lol At this point, we knew she was serious.

Finally, it was time for Iftar. There she was, sitting with us breaking her fast. We were all so happy and proud of her.

Everyday after that, she would walk down for Suhoor. She would be really sleepy, yet she still would come down to eat. lol

I never even thought of fasting at the age of seven, yet here she is fasting.

She didnt stop there. She fasted for 27 days without take a break! Allahu Akbar!

Actually she was going to complete Ramadan, but my mom was afraid and thought her health would decline. My mom made her eat and not fast for the remaining days.

Only if I had the courage and determination that Asma had...Subhana'Allah.

Im always going to remember that. That itself is an example and a lesson for me.

Although Asma wanted to fast the following year, she couldnt do it because that was when she started to become ill. Subhana'Allah, even though she was becoming ill, she STILL wanted to fast. Look at her courage and determination. Allahu Akbar!

After she became sick, we didnt wake her up for Suhoor since there was no point. We let her sleep and rest.

Well, when we would be eating Suhoor downstairs, we would hear Asma's voice. She would wake up either from the smell of food or our voices.

In soft voice, she would yell out, "Omarrrrrr."

I would then run upstairs and ask her and say, "Kiya howa?" ("What happened?")

Asma would say, "Take me downstairs."

I would then pick up her and carry her downstairs. Keep in mind, she became immobile because of the massive tumor in her /knee leg which didnt allow her to walk.

There have been times where I would walk out of my room towards the stairs. As I would do that, Asma somehow knew and she whisper my name, "Omar..."

I would then go towards her and ask, "Kiya howa?" ("What happened?")

Asma would reply, "Shhh...dont tell mom and dad. Take me downstairs."

I would smile and so would she. I pick her and carry her downstairs. Everyone is thinking Asma is asleep, but to their surprise, Asma is coming downstairs.

As I would walk down the stairs, everyone would start cheering for her yelling her name.

They would say, "WOOOOOOO! Asma aagaye neechay! WOOOOOOO!" ("WOOOOOOO! Asma came downstairs! WOOOOOOO!")

Then my father would make room for her since she always sat by him.

Sometimes she didnt even eat. She would just come downstairs because it was fun for her. It was fun for her to sit around us and talk.

Subhana'Allah, memories of her make me smile. Sometimes I burst into laughter. lol

Last year, my parents, Asma and I went to Mexico for Asma's treatment. We left 3-4 days after Ramadan had started. So basically, we spent much of Ramadan in Mexico.

It was so lonely. I mean it was the first time we were ever actually apart from the rest of the family. Half of my family was back home in Chicago while the other half was in Mexico.

We were in the area where there were hardly any Muslims. Because of that, we were very limited as to what we could eat.

Sometimes we went the local grocery store and got something from the bakery or cereal. We would even get fruits and milk sometimes.

But for the most part, we had pizza for 3 weeks straight for Suhoor and Iftar. To be honest, I got sick of it when I came back home. It took me a while to get over it.

Our Ramadan passed by with uncertainty and anxiety. Soon it was Eid. Subhana'Allah, I felt so sad because Asma wanted to be home for Eid. She wanted to be with Aysha and my brothers. Asma was so used to having our whole family around even if my relatives didnt come to see her.

She loved it when guests came over on Eid to see her. She loved eating foods on Eid. But Alhamdulillah, she was very wise, mature, and patient. She understood and didnt get upset about it.

My dad's friend came over with his younger brother and an old friend of his from Los Angeles, California to see us. They drove for about 4-5 hours just to see us. They brought over so much food for us. Asma was very happy. She had fun and basically her version of Eid away from home.

May Allah reward them. Ameen

May Allah accept their good deeds and keep them on the straight path. Ameen

Who would have thought that it would be Asma's last Ramadan? I cetainly didnt. Subhana'Allah death can come anytime. It doesnt come with a warning.

Nothing can fill that empty space. Nothing can bring her back. Alhamdulillah Im just glad I got to spend time with her and have these memories of her.

We laughed. We played. We joked. We did everything. Alhamdulillah.

When I look back and think about her and her attitude towards life, I certainly look at it as a lesson in life.

I learned something from her attitude about Ramadan. Her determination, courage, and discipline has taught me the same. Although Im nowhere near it, its definately a reminder.

Allahu Akbar!

May Allah accept our fasts and keep us on the straigth path. Ameen

May Allah make us better Muslims. Ameen

May Allah raise Asma's status to the highest level in Jannah. Ameen

May Allah reunite us with Asma again. Ameen

May Allah give my parents, along with my family, shiffa and sabr. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

7 Comments:

  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 4:31:00 PM, Anonymous Saimah said…

    Salaam,

    Subhana'Allah what a beautiful spirit/soul Asma had. May Allah (SAW) make this time easy for you and your family.

     
  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 11:17:00 PM, Blogger Hijabi4Life said…

    ^ it's Allah (SWT), not (SAW)

    it was beautiful to read about Asma in this way...subhanAllah. when most people are complaining about how hungry they are and when is it gonna be time for maghrib, etc...here was Asma, mashaAllah, fasting of her own free will when she didn't even need to. that right there is imaan. SubhanAllah.

    Maybe you can spend this Eid or part of it, towards the end of Ramadhan even, at her grave...it's going to be such a reminder for anyone not to become a "Ramadhan Muslim" only and to stick to their good deeds and behaviors throughout the whole year inshaAllah.


    Ameen to your duaas, May Allah swt ease your heartache, Ameen.

     
  • At Thursday, October 27, 2005 11:53:00 PM, Anonymous saimah said…

    Whoops...thanks for catching my mistake...I can't believe I did that.... That's what happens when you don't pay attention...

     
  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 1:53:00 PM, Blogger psykomantium said…

    SubhanAllah. Masha Allah, Asma was a sincere Muslimah, a type of person which comes as a blessing to the world not too often. May Allah reward you. Ameen to every dua in bold.

    Take care, do enjoy and rejoice in Eid, for you have been ordered to, and remember the good times with Asma- she surely would not want her Omar to be sad on that blessed day. Ma assalam

     
  • At Friday, October 28, 2005 5:46:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    May Allah grant her Jannatul Firdaus. Aameen.

     
  • At Wednesday, November 02, 2005 1:29:00 AM, Anonymous Asma Mirza said…

    Ameen to all your prayers!!!

     
  • At Wednesday, November 09, 2005 12:09:00 AM, Anonymous sadi said…

    Ameen to all your duas...

    SubhanAllah....

    Asma was a truly amazing person...MashAllah

    ever since i first read your blogs i've always mentioned her first thing in all my prayers...

    May Allah grant her Jannah... Ameen

     

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