This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Sunday, December 23, 2007

How did she do it?

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

How did she do it?

Subhana'Allah thats what I keep thinking about - how did Asma do it? I have been sick with a flu for the past three days. My body feels like it is broken into pieces. I have been in bed the whole time I have been sick - including now as I type this up.

It has been three days and Im already so tired of being in bed. I am already tired of not being able to get up and doing things on my own. I really dont like asking others to do things for me even if it something small. I feel like this after only three days! Yet Subhana'Allah Asma never ever complained about being in bed for three years. She has always been positive about everything regardless of she was feeling or her condition was.

I really dont know how she did it. Three days and I'm already tired of being in bed 24/7. Three years and Asma still never complained despite the pain and suffering she was experiencing.

All I can say is, Subhana'Allah.

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest. Ameen
May Allah reunite us all with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah guide us all and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers. Ameen
May Allah give us all sabr and complete shiffa. Ameen

WasSalaamualaikum Warahmutallah.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

"I can't hear anymore."

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallah,

As mentioned before, Asma was mostly bed-ridden throughout her illness. There is only so much you can do while sitting in one position pretty much 24/7. Even if it is something you love doing, you cannot do it 24/7.

One of the things she did while in bed was watch T.V. She sometimes watched cartoons - mostly the ones where a kid can learn from. Anyway, one day she was watching T.V. as I was sitting next to her. I would usually sit with her while my mom would be cooking. Someone made sure to be with her in case of an emergency.

One of Asma's favorite cartoons was, 'Clifford the Red Dog.' She'd watch often and eventually knew each of the shows by heart. On that particular day as I sat by her, she turned her face from the T.V. and towards me and said, "I can't hear anymore."

With a confused look, I replied, "What? What do you mean?"

Asma said as she smiled, "I can't hear. The dog whistled, but I couldn't hear."

"Well, how do you know he whistled if you didn't hear it?," I asked.

Asma responds to me and says, "I watched this before and I know he whistled, but I can't hear that anymore."

She continues on and whistles. "Can you hear that?"

"Yes," I replied.

Asma said, "Yeah, well I can't."

That was when my heart sunk. Outwardly I tried to act all macho, but inside I wanted to curl into a ball as in a fetal position and never wanted to get up again. I tried to act macho and not show any emotions because Asma was smiling and didn't seem to care. She had the 'Oh well. Lets get over it. Move on.' type of attitude.

We later soon realized and came to learn that she had a part hearing loss due to the chemotherapy that she had gotten. Amongst many side effects/damages, hearing loss was one of them. She was unable to hear anything that was high-pitched.

She stopped being able to tell when her thermometer went off or when a smoke alarm had gone off.

It was a sad thing to see. But, what could have you done? It was a bitter part of the reality and we had to accept it.

Sad? Yes.

Heartbreaking? Yes.

Lesson learned? Yes. I learned (I think we all did) that Asma had taught me to be a strong person regardless of what we may encounter in our lives. There is someone who has it worse than we do.

I feel embarrassed when I think how Asma used to deal with trials and how I deal with them. She was 10 years younger than me...


May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest level. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah reward and bless my parents for going through this ordeal with keeping faith in Allah. Ameen
May Allah forgive us of our sins and guide us all and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers. Ameen

WasSalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.