Reminded of Asma

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Today was quite different than other days. Yeah we think about Asma everyday, but today it was different because while doing our daily activities, we were reminded of the day of her Janazah.

I took my mom for Jummah at Islamic Foundation (IFS), same place where Salatul Janazah was held for Asma. But thats not what reminded us of Asma. What reminded us of Asma was the route I took to go to the masjid. Part of the route was the same as the route we took when heading to the funeral home to give Asma ghusl and shroud her in the kafn.

My mom became slightly emotional as she was remembering the events that occured and also the feeling of emptiness that exists since the day she passed away.

Coincidentally, the time was 1:05 P.M. I vividly remember that time from the day she passed away because I remember looking at the clock at 1:05 as I was leaving for Jummah with my father and brother, about twenty minutes after Asma's body was taken by the funeral home from our house.

Of course, I cant even feel what my parents feel and go through with the loss of Asma. However, I know how I feel when thinking of Asma. It is so painful. Very. I wish I was a better bro to her. I wish I was a better friend to her. I wish I was a better person to her. I wish I had spent more time with her.

If there is one thing you can get out of of this post, I hope it is that we stop taking others for granted. Treat each day as if it is your last. What if you die before tomorrow comes? What if the other person dies before tomorrow comes? Then all you can do is regret. But what good will that do?

I may be the worst Muslim out there. But as Im going down in terms of my Imaan and feel like a horrible Muslim, thinking of Asma helps me come back up.

Why? Well because of two things:

1.) I want to meet Asma once again in the Akhirah
2.) Remembering how she lived reminds me of how I need to live...according to the Quran and Sunnah.

She truly was and still is an inspiration to me. I miss her.

May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers from this world. Ameen
May Allah make us better Muslims and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah give my parents sabr and and shiffa. Ameen
May Allah protect us all. Ameen

Asslaaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Another Girl With Cancer Just Like Asma

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Today I went to Islamic Foundation which is about 20 minutes away from my house for Jummah. Its the same masjid where the Salat ul Janazah was held for Asma. Anyhow, as I was leaving after I prayed Sunnah, I saw this kid I have known for a while now.

I met him at my old school about 3-4 years ago. One thing that makes him different from others that I know is that he has a sister who was also diagnosed with cancer. Coincidentally, she was also 12 years old and also had the same type of cancer, Osteogenicsarcoma (or Osteosarcoma).

I asked him how she was doing. Alhamdulillah, she has fully recovered and doing well. She too, like Asma, had chemotherapy, surgery and therapy. Masha'Allah she is doing very well. May Allah give her shiffa and sabr. Ameen

On the way home, I told my mom about it. My mom knows about her as well. She talked to the girl's mother on several occasions while Asma with us. My parents felt so bad for her and the family and knew exactly what they were going through. I know what the brother that I met was going through exactly. Its horrible. Its not something I'd wish upon my worst enemy. Its a feeling that I wish never to experience again.

Anyhow, we were thinking how she made it and doing well while Asma has passed away and is no longer with us. Asma and that girl would have been the same age. This led to the reminder that death doesnt distinguish. If it is written, it will happen. Nothing can stop it.

Allah Subhanawata'la had Willed for Asma to leave us on the morning of February 11th, 2005. However, He has Willed for that girl, who had the same cancer as Asma, to live and recover.

This should be a reminder to all of us. Many times we may question Allah's Will. However, who are we to do that? Who are we to question or challenge Allah and His Will?

One last thing before I end this post, I just want to share a quick story. Whenever I see the brother mentioned above, I think of his little sister and of course Asma. Moreover, I think about a particular incident that happened.

When Asma first found out about this girl, she was very touched and felt pretty horrible for her. Asma knew what it was like to go through the pain and deal with everything that comes with the illness. Asma wanted to meet her so she could talk to her and give her tips and advise her on dealing with the illness and give her emotional support.

Asma even got her a little present. Subhana'Allah Asma had a such a HUGE heart. Wallah she puts me to shame. :(

Well, I guess as it turns out, Asma never got to meet her. It seemed like her family didnt want to meet us and Asma. I guess it was because they didnt want their daughter who was suffering from the same illness to see Asma in the state she was in. Allahu Alim.

Anyhow, Asma was sad. She really wanted to meet the girl. It breaks my heart every time I think about it because Asma went out of her way to get her a present and hoped to meet her, but never did for whatever reason(s).

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah to the highest level. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers. Ameen
May Allah give the girl and her family shiffa and sabr. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Asma's Belongings

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

The other day I was cleaning the family room and opened the cabinet that we have standing in a corner. Its packed with Asma's belongings. Its there even from even when she was here with us. It hasn't been moved. Here it is below:





To a person who looks it for the first time, he/she may think that we are very disorganized and love clutter. However, that is not true. The problem is that our house is packed with her belongings. Everything started to accumulate throughout especially the 3 years she was ill. Everything from her person belongings prior to becoming ill to the day she passed away, its all there. From the gifts she has received to her wheelchair to her breathing tube, its all there.

Our basement is packed. Half of the basement is full of Asma's belongings. When that became full, we put stuff in the garage. When we ran out of room in there, we put stuff in the cabinet pictured above. Of course, there is stuff still in her room as it was the day she passed away.

There is so much stuff, its overwhelming. We plan to go through all of it and donate it to the Muslims or whoever is in need of them. We will not be giving away everything of hers. I will keep her personal stuff.

The point of this post was to remind ourselves how death can come without a warning. Whenever I open that cabinet, it is really hard to believe that she passed away. I mean when I look at the stuff she made in school or the stuff she used to play with, it is hard for me to comprehend that she is in longer with us.

Who would have thought she would leave this world at the age of 12? 12! Thats just the beginning in ones life. Normally, we would expect the older ones to go first. Its the normal cycle.

But then I realize how life is so short. Death can come anytime. It can come without a warning. When Asma was born on October 9th, 1992, we never thought she would die. However, she did 12 years later.

It may sound strange, but every time I open that cabinet, it reminds me of her obviously, but also death and how it can come anytime. We should not put off things for later when we can do it now. Who knows how much longer you have to live?

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah make us better Muslims and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah take our souls as Believers. Ameen
May Allah make it easy on my parents and give them sabr and shiffa. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.