Guilty? Why?

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

So why is it that every time I do something that may be considered "fun," I feel guilty? It is as if I feel bad for what I do.

Sometimes I will be talking to my friends and laughing when tell me a joke or something and all of a sudden I will stop. All of a sudden I feel quiet and guilty for doing so. How can I do that when Asma is not here to have fun?

It isn't a few-second thing. It is more of an all-day long thing. I will feel guilty all throughout the day. I may not show it all the time, but down inside I feel like what if she was here? It would be much different. How can I be so selfish to have fun without her? How can I be so careless? Heartless?

This is nuts. It drives me crazy. It is like I cant be in peace with this. Its always haunting me...

...like now.

:'( This sucks.

May Allah help me. Ameen
May Allah give my parents sabr and shiffa. Ameen
May Allah raise Asma's level and status in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah keep us all on the straight path and take our souls as Believers. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.

Become Better Muslims

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

It has been a while since I've last updated this blog. Things have been pretty busy lately which have taken much of my time. Anyhow, whenever anyone posts a comment on this blog, I receieve an email letting me know that someone has posted a comment and that I need to either approve or reject it. So yesterday in the evening, I check my email and I see a comment that really put a smile on my face. The comment was posted on "For the Sake of Allah vs. Sake of Dunya." post.

Here is the comment left anonymously:

"asalaaam
may Allah (swt) reward asma and elevate her status in jannah to the highest level and forgive us and guide us all.. ameen..
tnk u for this blog it made me cry and strengthened my imaan.. she also passed away on my birthday which scared me.. i'll keep her and your family in my dua'z inshallah.. iv been struggling with starting to wear hijab and kept holding back the day where i would start.. and after reading this, this morning.. it gave me the courage to start today and stop procrastinating.. alhamdullillah"

Subhana'Allah, for a bit I had a big smile on my face. As I've mentioned before, two of the few reasons why I made this blog was to remind people of how quickly death can come and to get them to become better Muslims, Insha'Allah. So reading the comment above made me happy inside and also gave me a "push" to strive to do good as I am at the bottom of the pit compared to other Muslims. Subhana'Allah when I look around, I see Muslims much better than me. I feel like there is so much I need to do and even then, Im not so sure that I will make it to Jannah. So whatever good I can do, I will do it in hope that I can make it to Jannah.

This leads me to another point. This reminds me (which I tend to forget and have forgotten for so long that I cant even remember) that everything we do has consequences. Even if I look back at my actions and words that came out of my mouth recently, they had a huge impact on others. Those impacts werent necessarily good, unfortunately. I look back at the things I have done and said, and Wallah I regret it. I wish I can bring back time. I wish I can redo things and make them better. But the fact is that I cant. Whatever has been said and done, is histroy and recorded. I can only repent, correct and learn from my mistakes, and move on.

We should all be mindful of the things we say and do. I know there are times where I joke with others that cross the Islamic boundaries. I didnt realize it before until a friend of mine reminded me just the other day. My friend told me that when at times I would joke, I would lie to make others laugh and how theres a hadeeth about it. Subhana'Allah, now that I think about it, I feel disgusted.

RasoolAllah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said,

“Woe to the one who speaks and lies in order to make people laugh; woe to him, woe to him.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi and al-Nasaa’i with a jayyid isnaad.

Alhamdulillah, Im glad my friend reminded as I would have kept going for only Allah knows how long.

I remember whenever Asma joked, she stayed away from lies and made sure she was within Islamic boundaries. That puts me to shame. How was it that a little girl like her knew so much and acted upon it, yet here I am much older and would break the rules and go over the boundaries?

It really gives me something to think about. I really love this blog. Even if no one reads it, I come here to read it. It serves as a reminder to me to become a better Muslim. Of course, I also come here whenever I miss Asma and wish I can hold her once more and give her kisses.

:'(

May Allah elevate Asma's status in Jannah and reunite us with her once again. Ameen
May Allah reward my friend for reminding me and saving me from the trap of Shaitan. Ameen
May Allah protect us all from evil and harm and keep us on the straight path. Ameen
May Allah cure all the ones who are ill and forgive the ones who have passed on and grant them spacious graves and protect them from the fitnah of the graves. Ameen
May Allah reward the person who started wear hijab and give her strength to do more. Ameen
May Allah guide us all to the straight path. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.