I Miss Her

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Its been a long time since I've last updated this blog. Since the last time I've posted, I have been real busy cleaning my house and throwing out junk that has been piling up over several years.

Of course, there was so much stuff that belonged to Asma. Everything from her clothes to stuffed animals to ivy lines to wound dressing kits. I've literally thrown out hundreds of pounds worth of stuff. We tried to give away some of her clothes and medical supplies that belonged to her. It kind of felt good to give it to away to some organization that deals with kids and cancer.

Then there was stuff that I just couldnt throw away. Instead, I kept them and stored them in a cabinet for now. Later on I will put them in a box and store them away. I still have tons of stuff that I plan on keeping.

Yesterday my mom went in her room and tried to remove her clothes so she can give them away. Well, shortly after she went in, all of a sudden I hear her crying quietly. I knew why she crying. She was crying because she was thinking about how Asma used to wear those clothes and now they are just hanging there like they have been for over two years. My mom just walked out then without doing anything. It always happens. She will go in planning to remove her clothes to give away. Few minutes later she will come back crying while leaving the clothes untouched.

What can I say to her? Is there anything to say? I just let her be and give her space. What she is feeling, I can never feel.

Whether or not I see her belongings, I will still think about her every day and night. Not a day/night goes by without thinking of her. I miss her.

Maybe I will go visit her grave tomorrow. Insha'Allah I will.

Take care.

May Allah give my parents sabr and shiffa. Ameen
May Allah elevate Asma's status to the highest in Jannah. Ameen
May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen
May Allah take our soul as Believers. Ameen
May Allah make us better Muslims and protect us from evil. Ameen

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh.