This blog is all about my little sister, Asma, who lost her life in the battle against cancer on February 11, 2005 at the age of 12.

All About My Baby Sister, Asma

Feel free to pass this blog along to others, Insha'Allah. (To read the very first post/entry, click on "February 2005" under "Archives" and scroll all the way to the bottom and you should see the first entry). Please keep my parents and family in your dua'as. Jazak'Allah. May Allah reward all of you and keep you guys on the straight path. Ameen May Allah reunite us with Asma once again. Ameen

Saturday, September 17, 2005

"Will you fight for me?"

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakatuh,

Asma loved the fact that she had so much support. She knew we would always be there for her. Whether it be at the doctor's office, hospital, store or at some one's house, we were always prepared to be there for her whenever she needed us.

I have lost count of how many times my father went off on nurses and doctors because of their carelessness when treating Asma. Some even made Asma cry. Subhana'Allah.

There was a time when Asma was geting a very high dose of chemotherapy which should be given within a certain time. If not given within a certain time, it can become a life and death situation. Well, the nurse for whatever reason forgot about it and let 9 hours go by before the next dose was due. That was way over time. Asma was lucky to have made it out ok.

Anyways, my dad got so angry and asked for an explanation. The nurse denied and lied to us which made things worse. As a result, my father went off on her and basically got her fired.

To some, it may seem that was harsh. However, when it came to Asma, we didnt care where it was or who it was. If they had disrespected Asma in any way or some how put her life in danger, we were ready to fight for it.

I remember one time the nurse got mad when we asked her to change her gloves after she touched other things and even picked up something from the floor. Heck, even Asma used to tell them to change their gloves or else she wouldnt let them come near her! Subhana'Allah.

Asma didnt want to go any place new without my dad in fear of getting a hard time from people. She knew my dad would be all over them if they mistreated Asma. However, there were times when my dad couldnt make it because of work. Sometimes he had mandatory meetings while Asma would be going in for her dose of chemotherapy.

Asma didnt like that because she was afraid of getting a hard time from people. However, she had no choice but to go without my dad. That was when she would look to me for support. She wouldnt go anywhere without me either. She only trusted to pick up and carry her around. She didnt let anyone else do it; not my brothers nor my dad.

So anyways, as we were going inside the hospital, she turns head and looks up at while Im pushing her wheelchair, and asks, "Tum mereliye fight karoge?" ("Will you fight for me?")

At that point I felt honored that she had asked me that. I giggled a little replied, "HELL YEAH! I will."

She just smiled and said, "Okay, you better."

She felt so relieved when I told her that and reassured her.

Before she had her leg amputated, she spent about a month in the ICU. Subhana'Allah things were very tense and there is a big feeling of uncertainty. My mom stayed with her 24/7. Sometimes my father and I would stay there as well. We would sleep on the couches in the lounge where the TV was.

To add onto that, the environment we had to live in, was very, VERY scary. We always had to wonder what would happen next.

There were three people in particular that made things bad for us. One was Dr. Leyva, a nurse, and a social worker.

It was during the day when the nurse came in and told us that Asma needed to take some pain medicine. I asked "Why?"

With an attitude, she told me its for her pain. I said, "But shes not in pain."

She replies, "You dont know that. How do you know shes not in pain?"

At this point, I was getting irritated and said, "Because she told us she isnt in pain. And whenever she is in pain, she tells us."

The nurse said, "Well shes lying. Shes in pain."

(At this point, in my head I was like, "OH HELL NO, YOU JUST DID NOT DISS MY BABY SISTER.")

I just went off on her. I said, "Look, how long have you known her? For a few weeks. I have known her my WHOLE life ever since she was born. I helped raise her and I know everything about her and I know what she is like. So dont go and tell ME what shes doing and what shes like. Dont ever say that again."

Damn it felt so good to tell her off. I bet Asma was proud of me. Asma was so exhausted and weak, she didnt say anything for pretty much about a month. She just listened to our conversation. My mom was mad too. She was happy that I told her off.

The nurse was shocked. She put her hands up in the air and said, "Im just a messenger and Im just doing my job." as she walked out of the room.

May Allah destroy this nurse. Ameen.

Anyways, a few minutes later, the doctor comes in. She tries to act all smart and casually asks how things are going. Now, come on, we arent stupid. Of course we acted stupid to see where she was going with this.

She then asks me to step out of the room. I did. She then asked me why we arent giving her pain medications. I simply told her because she doesnt need any. She stays quiet and says, "Okay, thanks." as she walked away.

May Allah destroy the doctor. Ameen.

A short while later, the stupid social worker walks in. Wallahi, she probably thought we were some stupid people that didnt know any better.

She comes to me and asks, "Where is your father?"

I replied, "At work."

She then said, "Is there a way your father can bring along a respected member or Imam from your community with him and have a meeting with us?"

At this point, I thought to myself, "What the hell?"

I just said, "I dont know, ask my dad."

She then walks over to my mother and says, "If you need any help financially, please let us know and we will help."

My mom just said, "No. We are fine and dont need any help." I bet that felt like a slap to the social worker's face.

Now, I cant believe the social worker actually had the guts to say this. She told my mom we were torturing Asma by not giving her any medications.

My mom started to cry. She was very afraid. After the social worker left, my mom calls my dad at work. She tells my dad the whole story and he is FUMING.

He gets on the phone with the social worker. This is how the conversation went:

Social Worker: Can you come and have a meeting with us?
My dad: For what?
Social Worker: Regarding your daughter, Asma.
My dad: For what?
Social Worker: We can help you?
My dad: We dont any help. Go away and leave my wife and kids alone.

The Social Worker hands over the phone to my mother and told us that my dad is very angry.

I thought to myself, "You are lucky you didnt get a beating, stupid."

Anyways, we later one found that they were trying to file a lawsuit against us. They were going to sue us because apparently we were torturing Asma. They would have tried to take her away from us. What BS.

May Allah destroy these three witches: the nurse, the doctor, and the social worker. Ameen.
May Allah give them a painful death. Ameen.

Its pains me so much to think about what Asma went through and how she was treated by everyone.

I literally felt like bashing their head into a wall and jumping on their throats until they bled to death.

I always told myself, "Nobody...I mean NOBODY treats my little Princess Asma badly."

I miss her. :(

May Allah reward my parents for being so patient. Ameen.
May Allah reward my parents for protecting Asma from others. Ameen.
May Allah elevate the status of Asma in Jannah. Ameen.
May Allah reunite us with Asma in Jannah. Ameen.

Assalaamualaikum Warahmutallahi Wabarakauth.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005



Asma knew I was terrified of anything living other than humans. Yeah, even the smallest creatures. Apparently, she found it pretty amusing and would tease me about it. lol Back when she didnt have her illness, she would sometimes chase me with little insects, rabbits, and cats.

We had two parakeets. Asma loved to play with them. She sometimes would put her hand inside the cage and play with them or even feed them.

If I was around, she would tell me to put my hand inside their cage. Of course, I would refuse to do it. Asma then would burst into laughter and and literally roll on the floor laughing. lol

Although she found it amusing and sometimes teased me, she would also defend me from other animals. Yeah, it sounds a little bit wierd, but its true.

One of the of the times where she defended me was in Georgia. We were in Georgia for Asma's treatment. We were staying at a house owned by the clinic. Well, the next door neighbor happened to have many pets. One of the cats was named "Cheddar." She was a cute looking cat with orange fur.

Well anyhow, Cheddar fell in love with Asma. It would come over and play with Asma all the time. Asma would have a great time. She would sit her in wheelchair and wheel herself around while Cheddar would walk along side her or circle around Asma.

Well one day I happened to come outside while Cheddar was over playing with Asma. As you probably have guessed, I freaked out as soon as I saw Cheddar.

"Are you scared?" asked Asma.

I replied, "YES. Get it away from me."

At this point Asma laughed and said, "Okay."

As Asma pointed towards Cheddar's home, she shouted, "Go away Cheddar. GO AWAY! I SAID, GO AWAY!! GO!! GO CHEDDAR!!"

As the cat started to walk/run towards its home, Asma turned to me as I was standing there smiling, she said, "Are you happy now?"

I replied, "Yeah!!"

She just laughed and told me to stay with her so she could talk and play with me.

I thought Id share this funny story. Even to this day, I still laugh whenever I think about that.

Damn, I miss those times. :'(